One Year Later: He is.
Graylin Ryan Chapman
February 22, 1981 - April 30, 2024
He was Ryan.
He was Graylin.
He was Fats.
He was the warmest of bright lights, shining on you and giving you all his attention making you feel seen.
He was the whitest teeth in the widest grin you ever did see.
He was South Carolina charm and New York swagger poured into a pitcher with sugar lemon and ice cubes, sipped with a straw on the front porch.
He was pressed pants white Converse Chuck Taylors and cashmere sweaters that betrayed; not a speck of dirt or the slightest wrinkle.
He was January gray cold warmed up by hey friend do you need a hug just when you needed it most.
He was inspiration that though it might be easier to be unkind, he chose to be kind in a way that few are these days, pure simple without announcing itself.
He was laughing on the car ride home when you dropped the mask with your crew shared some gossip and laughed till your stomach hurt, but it was that real good kind of hurt.
He was quiet but spoke with his eyes direct on you, though to be honest sometimes those eyes were side-eyes and those side-eyes said more than any mouth could, and I know you all know what I’m talking about cause you all have seen those side-eyes.
He was vulnerability trust faith in things we can’t see but sure can feel.
He was son brother cousin classmate nephew godfather church member friend neighbor coworker dancer on the dance floor when it’s not about dancing like nobody is watching but dancing like everybody is watching cause you want to share some of this little light of mine I want everybody to see my shine and I want them to shine too.
He was the most amazing of artists. Though he might not have known it, he painted our lives with his spirit, leaving colors that will never and can never fade inspiring us to paint the lives of others in the same way.
He is these words said by many of you that will keep how he lived alive in us and alive in the world because when we live in the ways he embodied the was becomes an is and an is will always be:
audacious bold wise confident loyal loyal loyal driven (unrelentingly sweet) courageous joyful joy joy warm peaceful empathetic lively sincere mischievous earnest energetic (crazy adventures) hilarious hilarious (no matter what we had each others back) thoughtful sensitive sassy good hugger deep voiced and having depth caring calming voice
spirited because he stayed with a smile on his face
genuine because he was always truly there for me
alluring because there was still some mystery to him that made him so unique
well spoken easy going supportive always cheering me on funny gentle gentle kindhearted kind kind dependable witty witty classy tender resolute strength sardonic my sit next to me friend passionate beautiful perseverance witty affectionate faithful love love loving loving loving.
He is Ryan.
He is Graylin.
He is Fats.
He is 4 words that ended many of the texts of gratitude he sent to friends God’s Grace and Mercy.
He is Me You We Us.
He is.
The Blackyard Collective has established a mutual aid fund in Graylin’s honor that will go directly towards providing financial assistance to Black queer and trans people on the path to recovery. In honor of Graylin, I invite you to give as you are able.
